


let's rest for awhile 'til our souls catch us up

by memorysdaughter



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 11:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5783590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorysdaughter/pseuds/memorysdaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mission ends badly, Coulson comforts Daisy.</p><p>For Skoulson Romfest 2k16 day 4 ("like a monster").</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's rest for awhile 'til our souls catch us up

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "Bring on the Wonder" by Susan Enan.

He meets the quin-jet when it arrives back at the base, hoping for good news about their latest moves against HYDRA.  Instead all he hears is screaming.

“What the hell happened?” Coulson demands of Hunter.

Hunter shakes his head. “Dunno.  She was fine one minute and then…”

“There was an Inhuman there,” Bobbi says.  Neither of them looks anywhere close to normal, and Coulson can’t exactly blame them – he’s only heard the screams for a few brief minutes, and he’s not dealing very well, either.

“Giyera?”

“No.  We didn’t see much.” Bobbi’s face is solemn.  Coulson knows there’s more she’s not saying, but he doesn’t have the heart to force her to talk.  Something tells him he’ll be getting the rest of it soon enough.

May’s the next one off the plane.  Mack’s right behind her, Daisy thrashing in his arms, and her screams get louder. “No!  _No!  Please!”_

“What the hell happened?” Coulson repeats, this time to May.

“It all happened so fast,” May says, and though her tone doesn’t waver, he hears rage and fear in her voice.

“Two of Malick’s guys got Daisy trapped in a room,” Mack says. “I was behind her, and when I got in there they were… God, it was awful, but… ”

He swallows. “She knocked one of them out, the other guy came after her, pinned her down again, and started with…”

He takes another breath. “She killed him.”

Coulson can’t make the leap. “Daisy’s… done that before.”

“Not like this,” May says.  To Mack, she orders, “Take her to medical.  Simmons needs to take a look at those burns.  And…”

Mack nods and walks away, Daisy still thrashing and screaming.  Now Coulson can hear a new word: “ _Monster!  Monster!”_

Her anguished keening drives spikes through his heart, and he knows he doesn’t want to hear what May has to say, though as director he’s positive he needs to.

She steps a bit closer and lowers her voice. “Phil.  She stopped his heart.  With…”

“With her powers,” Coulson breathes.

May nods.

“God.” Coulson closes his eyes.

“She didn’t want any of us to touch her, even though she couldn’t stand,” May says. “She kept saying she was a monster.”

 _Monster.  Monster._   Daisy’s screams echo in the back of Coulson’s mind.

“Go and be with her,” May says.

Coulson snaps back to the situation at hand. “What?”

“She needs you.”

“She needs…”

“Phil.  She needs _you_ ,” May says firmly.

Her tone leaves no room for argument.

Coulson goes.

* * *

Daisy registers a slight needle prick and knows sedatives and painkillers should be flooding her system, but she’s too far gone.  Her entire body seems to be caught in a spasm, though she’s somewhere beyond it.

“Daisy.” Someone is calling her name.  British voice. “Daisy.  I need you to relax.  You’re bleeding and I need to take care of your wounds, but I can’t do that if your body is so tense.”

“Monster,” she screams. “Monster.”

“There’s no monster here.”

“Monster,” Daisy sobs.  Her throat is raw.  Her arms burn.  She’s choking.  Gasping.  Her entire body is on fire.  Her visual field is blurry as she thrashes back and forth.  Hands are on her, trying to hold her down; she jerks her arms and legs in towards her body as though she can fight them off. “Please.  I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

Another voice speaks. “If she won’t hold still…”

“The sedative should be kicking in.”

“It’s not.” A third voice.

“I’m so sorry.  I can’t… make it stop.  Make it stop,” Daisy screams.

That man.  That man.  He’s all she can see.  The look in his eyes as he died, as her vibrations swallowed up that essential vibration keeping him alive and caused it to cease.

“ _You’re a monster_ ,” he whispers in her ears. “ _You’re just like a monster.”_

“No,” Daisy sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“ _Monster_.”

She chokes, wheezes, gasps for air, as though she’s drowning.  She’s going under, shoved down by that man with the dead eyes and the whispering voice harsh as nails on a chalkboard.

“ _You’re a monster_.”

* * *

 

Coulson still hears Daisy screaming as he hurries into the medical wing.  She’s on the bed, surrounded by Simmons and Bobbi and Fitz, her body a tight knot, tactical suit half-off, arms mottled black and red with burns, blood darkening one shoulder of the tank top she was wearing underneath.  Daisy thrashes back and forth on the bed, rolling from side to side, her arms locked against her body and her feet kicking out vainly attempting to protect herself.  Her screams fill his ears as he gets closer.

He kneels down at the side of the bed, an unsure penitent at an altar for a god he's no longer sure he wants to believe in.  Daisy’s eyes find him and his heart breaks yet again.

 _I should have been there.  I could have done something_.

The screams turn to sobs and gasps; she’s choking on every breath she tries to get in.  Tears stream from her eyes as she recognizes him and reaches out for him.

Coulson slips his hand into hers. “I’m here,” he says.

“I’m a monster!” she screams at him.

“You’re not a monster,” Coulson says.

Daisy shakes her head – _no!_ – fiercely and tries to wrench her hand away.

“You’re not a monster,” he repeats.

“I killed…” She coughs. “I used…”

She looks down at her hands. “Oh, no.  No, _no, no_ – I’m so sorry!”

Her body convulses again; she yanks her legs in towards her body and jerks one back out, nailing Fitz squarely in the thigh.  He crumples to the ground.

Coulson doesn’t hesitate.  He scoops Daisy up and sits down on the hospital bed with her cradled in his arms. “Shh,” he whispers. “Listen to me.  You are not a monster.  You are safe.  Nothing is going to happen to you.”

“I killed him,” she whimpers. “My powers… I just…”

“You are not a monster.  You are safe.”

“… I didn’t want to, it just happened, I couldn’t do anything and he…”

“You are not a monster.  You are safe,” he says gently, stroking her hair. “I’m not going to leave.  You are safe.  I am here.”

Daisy brings her battered hands up and clings to his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Phil,” she breathes, and she tucks her head into the crook of his neck, settling in against his shoulder.

Her breath is warm on his neck and the weight of her somehow comforts him.  Coulson looks up at Bobbi and Simmons as Daisy’s breathing slowly evens out.  Simmons has tears in her eyes and Bobbi looks distinctly rattled.

“Can you work around me?” Coulson asks, keeping his voice low.

Simmons nods.

“Then I’ll stay exactly where I am.”

* * *

Coulson stays.  He cradles Daisy to him while Simmons and Bobbi tend to her burned arms, while they stitch up the long jagged stab wound on her shoulder and the smaller gash on her forehead.  She clings to him and whimpers, sometimes seeming to rise out of her hard-won sleep and the sedating fog of painkillers.  He whispers things in her ear and strokes her hair and something in him eases when she relaxes.

At last they’re finished.  Simmons says, “I’m going to get her some clean clothes.  Are you…?”

Her voice trails off and she awkwardly shuffles a step to the left.

“I can help her,” Coulson says.

“All right, then,” Simmons says.

She brings him a pair of loose pants and a T-shirt. “I’ll be back for her next dose of painkillers in about four hours.  Please let me know if she needs them sooner.”

“I will,” Coulson promises.

In the long blue shadows of the medical wing Coulson sets Daisy on the bed, as reverently as if she was porcelain, and begins the process of removing the remains of her tactical suit.  Her forehead furrows as he unzips it and works her arms through what’s left of the sleeves.  He notices she’s holding her breath.

“Daisy,” he says tenderly, “let me help you.  Let’s get you into something more comfortable.”

His voice seems to calm her and her breathing evens out.  Coulson slips her into the T-shirt, being careful to avoid her heavily-bandaged arms.

“Couls’n…” she slurs, and her eyes flicker.

“Yeah?”

“Y’r here.” She sounds confused.

“And I’m not going anywhere.  Can you help me with your pants?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

Coulson helps Daisy into a seated position and she flops against him appallingly. “M’ arms…”

“Do they hurt?”

“No.  _Y’r_ arms…”

Coulson slips the arms in question under her shoulders and leans her against him so he can slip her out of the suit.  Still propping her up, he wriggles the sweatpants over her feet. “One more movement,” he says gently. “Ready?”

Daisy nods, her head against his shoulder.

He brings her to her feet and pulls the pants up to her waist. “Easy does it.  Good, that’s it.  We’re all done.”

Daisy sits back down, breathing heavily, and whimpers. “Arms,” she says.

“Your arms?”

“No.  _Your_ arms,” she repeats.

Finally Coulson understands.  He cradles her against him again and brings one hand up to rub her back. “Better?”

“Mm-hmm.”

She snuggles against his chest. “Gon’ leave, Phil?”

“I can’t very well leave with you on my lap, now can I?”

Her fingers clench into his shirt and he realizes it might have been a bad answer. “I’m sorry.  No, I’m not going to leave.”

“Did a bad thing.”

“No.  You did a necessary thing.”

“ _No_.” Her voice breaks.

“I’m so sorry you were there, Daisy,” Coulson says. “I’m so sorry this is what you’re spending your days doing.  I’d rather… I’d rather take you somewhere nice.”

“Hmm.”

“There’s a place outside of Portland, in Oregon, where there’s a waterfall hidden in a forest that’s only accessible by a long, twisty trail,” he goes on. “At the base of the trail is a shack where an old man lives and before you go up you have to stop and talk to him.  Couples go there, mostly, and if he approves of the couple he’ll let you go up and see the waterfall.  Apparently it’s life-changing.  And he’s never wrong, you know, about the couples.  He’s never been wrong, not once.”

“Mmm.”

“I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard all about it,” Coulson says. “I’d like to go there someday.  See what he thinks about me.”

“Hmm?”

“Oh.  And you.”

“Mmm.” Daisy’s fingers twist in his shirt.

“But it’s not a place you take monsters,” Coulson points out. “Absolutely no monsters.  Only gorgeous, strong women who want to save the world, who break your heart because they’re so damn smart and brave and confident while at the same time vulnerable and broken.  And those people… sometimes, they have to make difficult choices.  But it doesn’t mean they’re loved any less.  It means they deserve to be loved _more_ , because they’re able to see things others can’t, to make those hard calls.”

Daisy’s breathing against his neck is slow and gentle.

“Because they make the calls some men never could.” Coulson kisses her softly on the cheek, then leans back against the wall, Daisy warm in his arms, and closes his eyes.


End file.
